Well, that didn’t last long.
I’m pretty sure I was only looking to paganism/Heathenry because monotheism was getting difficult. There are a lot of challenges in it—moral, intellectual, social—and sometimes I get tired of what often feels like an uphill battle.
But I couldn’t get G-d out of my mind. I missed Him. Not having His presence—by praying, by invoking His blessing over meals and other everyday acts—was almost painful.
And I was rooting around Tumblr yesterday and came across a motivational post that was along the lines of, “Don’t quit just because it hurts; nothing worthwhile is easy” (is it ironic that I can’t remember the exact wording of something that struck me so profoundly?). It was talking about working out, but it applies to just about anything else too.
I have to stick with what I actually believe, even if it’s hard.
To those Heathens who started following me the other day: Feel free to stop following if you like (but you’re welcome to stay!). I won’t be offended.